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Hello!

Hello!
Hi! I'm Shabana. I live in Bahrain. I'm a businesswoman by day and a fitness instructor by night. I believe that dressing up is the easiest way of loving yourself, and this blog is where I journal my outfits and my life. If you'd like to know more, click on the About Me tab on top. I hope you enjoy my blog!
                            
15/random posts
How I Stopped Being a Control Freak (And How You Can, Too)

How I Stopped Being a Control Freak (And How You Can, Too)




I used to be that person. The person who hated it when things didn’t go a certain way or how I envisioned them. I would get really worked up and upset if I couldn't control certain situations or things or how a place should look like. 

In other words, I used to be a control freak.


But soon I realized life doesn’t work that way. Life is messy and chaotic. The fact is, you just CAN NOT control every person and every situation in life. And the more you try, the more stressed out you become. 

The biggest lie about wanting to control everything is that you believe it’ll make your life better and easier. But getting things under control is like a short-term drug. When you’ve finally managed to do it, you feel high. Until the next situation comes up that you just can’t control.


Another perceived benefit why you try to control is because you think you’ll feel at peace when you have everything “under control”. But you’re really not at peace. Because you need everything a certain way, even the smallest thing going awry will make you feel upset and you’ll spend time and effort trying to make everything right again.

Of course, the reason why we like to control everything is that we FEAR that if we don’t, the result won’t be how we like it or what we got before. And like all fears, we need to let go or face them to move forward in life. 

I realized this and I started to let go of control. I’d be in situations where I wanted things a certain way. I would INSIST on them to be that way. Even if all persons and circumstances and the entire universe were preventing it. Then I’d ask myself, wait, WHY am I so hung up on this? WHY can’t I let go? There has to be some flaw in me that makes me insist on things going my way. 


So I tried to stop becoming fixated on having power and a say over everything and let others do things their way. Or let the situation manage itself. And each time I let go of control, things just fell into place. It was amazing. 


I then trained myself to keep doing that. Whenever I would get caught up in situations where out of habit I insisted on things being a certain way, I’d take a moment, realize that I was holding too tightly to what I thought was right, and then think, hey, I can let go of this. And even if everything didn’t sort itself out magically, at least I let go of that stress and insistence on doing things my way. 


To give you an example, I like everything neat and organized. The rest of my family is not as neat as I am. Since we live together, our home isn’t as neat and put-together as I want it to be. I used to get extremely worked up about it and tried my hardest to make everything super tidy and minimalistic. It only ended up with me becoming frustrated and irritated with my family. 


I realized that I had to let go. It’s their home as well and for them, this is the way that makes them happy and comfortable. So now even when I see clothes lying around or something that's not in its place, I force myself to let it go. I keep my room as organized and KonMari’d as I like. When the clutter of the rest of the house gets to me, I go into my room and I feel calmer. 


Letting go of control doesn’t mean that I don’t do ANYthing my way anymore. It just means I don’t get wound up when things DON’T go my way. 


The biggest benefit of this is that you open yourself up to new ways of doing things. You learn new things simply by accident - because what you wanted to do didn’t work out so you had to use another way. And that way turned out to be better. 

So if you’re a person who absolutely needs to have everything under control at all times, give this a try. Start to let go of things bit by bit. When you feel resistance or you feel like you just can’t control a situation, give in. You might be pleasantly surprised at how much more relaxed it makes you and how easy the outcome of the situation is.


Also- it makes you a much more likeable person. Just sayin’.





On a style note, how happy am I that brogues and oxfords for women are so popular right now? They were a trend a few years ago and they were too stylized and OTT at the time. Now you get them in much simpler styles and shapes, and they’re available everywhere. So much so that yours truly could get a few in her crazy-big foot size. They’re so common now that I’m almost seeing ballet flats dying out. Yesssssssssssss. *does a victory dance*

I actually DID a victory dance. There you go.



I love how brogues and oxfords go with everything and make any look super-polished and elegant. And of course, they’re comfortable AF. They add just the right amount of preppiness to your outfit and they’re such a great shoe choice for the office. I’m loving the new trend of brogues with platforms and I’ve bought a funky metallic gold pair that I’m dying to do a shoot in!



Clothes: Saji's Couture, Bag & Rings: Gifted, Watch: Parfois, Sunglasses & Shoes: Aldo

P.S: If you love these posts on self-love and self-improvement, you'll love my book, Loving Yourself In Style. It's on summer sale now so click this link and get your copy!

Let me know in the comments if you like the idea of letting go of control, or shall we say stop being a control-freak, and if you’re going to try it. Also, let me know if you hate ballet flats as much as I do!
Until next time,

xoxo


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Shabana Feroze
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Why Kindness On Social Media Is So Important

Why Kindness On Social Media Is So Important







Social media is everywhere. We use several social media platforms several times a day. And mostly, it’s to connect with others. Double-tapping on someone’s photo, adding a reaction to a Facebook post or retweeting a tweet is the simplest way we keep in touch with others on social media. And let’s face it, we’re all too busy to post a comment on our friend’s posts all the time. Hitting the like button is fast and convenient.


But here’s why leaving a comment or a message and what you say in that message is SO important. Because of how much we use social media, we’re losing that real connection with our friends and family. Interactions on online platforms can be very dry.


Your like or heart or retweet is no different from someone else’s. It doesn’t have your personality or your warmth in it. Even when we type out actual words, they can seem how they don’t have emotion in them. A lot of times they can come across as harsh and emotionless.


Here are a few ways you can sound real and meaningful when communicating on social media or by email:


  • Don’t add a full stop at the end of your sentence. A “Thank you.” or a “Yes.” sounds threatening and harsh. Leave out the full stop, or better yet, add an exclamation at the end.

  • Which brings me to this point: use exclamation marks wisely. An exclamation mark shows excitement and enthusiasm. Use it when you feel excited and enthusiastic. Not to make a point. E.g: “Can you do this for me!” is SO rude. Also, don’t add too many exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!



  • Don’t be cryptic. I’ll never understand why people try to act “cool” by posting mysterious or confusing comments. Just be real. Tell others you like their stuff, instead of saying something very witty which we all know you tried way too hard to do and you’re not like that in real life.

  • If you have been looking at someone’s feed and enjoying what they post, say something. It’ll make the other person’s day that what they post is being enjoyed by someone.
  • Keep the personal talk private. There’s a reason there are PMs and DMs. Not everything needs to be posted on someone’s feed. Wishing someone happy birthday or saying congratulations for something is so much more meaningful when it’s done in a private message.

  • Words are better than emojis. Spend the extra 30 seconds it takes to actually say something instead of :D ❤. It shows the other person that you care enough to type something out.
  • Try to actually study their post and then leave a comment. Tell them what you like about them or their clothes or whether you ate at the same place the last week. Read their caption and comment on it, instead of just saying “Great!” or “Wow!”.
  • Lastly, DON’T. BE. NEGATIVE. There’s enough negativity on social media. Don’t be a troll. Comment nice things or don’t comment at all.



In the same vein, here are a few tips to stay sane while using social media:

  • If you don’t like what someone posted on your post, don’t be ashamed to remove it. It’s YOUR feed. You should be able to control it how you like. You can either delete the comment or if you think a funny comment could be misconstrued, ask your friend to edit or delete it and explain why.



    • Block and unfollow whoever the f$#% you want. If someone is bringing negativity into your life through your phone, or if they make you feel small and insecure with perfect photos of their perfect life, block, mute, unfollow, unsubscribe. There’s a reason those buttons are there. I’m loving the trend of people unfollowing fashion and beauty bloggers whose life seems too fake and OTT, and following people who are real and share both the ups AND downs of their life.

    • Lastly, if social media feels overwhelming at times, you always have the option of temporarily disabling your account or of even getting off of the platform completely. Don’t feel like you have to always keep up and consume every single thing that’s being shared on your feed. All those images, words and media can really overload your thoughts and senses. Take a break whenever you need one. If you really feel bad for taking a break or going AWOL, leave a simple message or post saying you’re taking a break and will be back soon.

    Those are a few ways of being kind to yourself and to others online. Leave me a {kind} comment below if you enjoyed this post!




    Tee, Earrings, Cuff: Gifted. Pants: Saji’s Couture, {Similar women's nautical pants}, Bag: from India, Shoes: New Look

    Until next time

    xoxo
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    Shabana Feroze
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    That Sexy Smile

    That Sexy Smile



    I've recently had to get a lot of dental work done. I've completed two root canals {sounds painful but trust me, with the right dentist it's not} and now my dentist is almost finished with some work on my front teeth. This work directly affects my smile. Throughout this entire process, I have realized the importance of not just healthy teeth, but a good-looking smile.

    Having a great smile, one that you are proud to show off, is so important to feeling great about yourself. I have seen way too many women cover their mouths while smiling or laughing because they're insecure about how their teeth look when they smile.

    A genuinely happy smile doesn't just show how comfortable you are with yourself, but it's also one of the biggest giveaways of your personality. Someone with a big and vibrant smile looks happy with themselves and their life, and you feel like you can talk to them. But someone who almost never smiles or doesn't show their teeth while smiling seems like they're fake and/ or hiding something, right?

    You may think it's silly to make pre-judged assumptions based on a smile, but studies show that we make a decision about someone within two minutes of meeting them. Imagine if you gave off the wrong impression simply because of how you smiled.


    With all that in mind, I decided to write a post with a few tips on how you can achieve that perfect smile. Read on below:



    Clean your teeth


    An obvious one, but one that needs to be a part of this list. Teeth need regular maintenance just like any other part of your body. Regularly cleaning your teeth with a fluoride toothpaste allows you to protect your teeth from things like gum disease and tooth decay. The food we eat has ingredients such as sugar or acid that can erode our teeth if we don’t keep them clean. Not to mention the bad breath that'll ensure you have no love life.


    Flossing


    Sometimes cleaning your teeth isn’t enough. Your toothbrush can do its best but food gets into nooks and gaps in your teeth. If they aren't removed they can rot your teeth. Flossing is a great way to make sure every bit of food is removed from your teeth. Plus, it gives a really clean feeling to your mouth. I like to carry dental floss in my handbag. You can floss after every meal. Although once a day is enough. 

    Professional scaling/ polishing

    You can get your teeth professionally deep cleaned by a dental hygienist. My dentist recommended I get this done once every year. Scaling and polishing by a dental hygienist can be a really simple solution to your teeth looking yellow or unclean because of plaque build-up. It makes your smile look so much better after and your teeth feel super clean. 


    Cosmetic enhancements


    As I mentioned before, you might be holding your smile back because you're conscious of how your teeth look. You're not alone. A lot of people feel the same about their teeth. Thankfully, with all the dental advancements today, you can visit your local dentist who can suggest various options that you can consider for making your teeth look as beautiful as you want them to. This might be straightening and realigning or an option like veneers. You'll be able to discuss what you don’t like and the dentist will be best placed to tell you what they can do. 


    Teeth whitening


    If it isn’t the shape or alignment of your teeth that's making you feel insecure but the colour of your teeth, then why not consider teeth whitening? Whiter teeth will give you a better sense of confidence once the treatment is done. Cosmetic dentists can get rid of any stains on your teeth that may have been caused by drinking tea and coffee or other drinks. Teeth whitening is something that can be done easily. You can even consider buying special toothpaste or a teeth whitening kit if you don’t fancy heading to a dentist. 


    Regular trips to the dentist


    Again, an obvious one, but it's something we forget so easily. It' definitely the cause of me having to get a lot of work done all at once. Keeping a regular appointment schedule with your dentist is so important for good dental health. Putting a reminder in my Google Calendar helps me not forget to book regular appointments. Do whatever works for you, but don't forget to go get those regular check-ups. It could be the difference between doing a simple filling or having to get a lengthy root canal procedure done.

    I hope these tips helped and that you're motivated to make sure your smile looks as sexy as you want it to. ;)


    Until next time,

    xoxo
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    Shabana Feroze
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    The Next Step After I Stopped Complaining

    The Next Step After I Stopped Complaining




    In this post, I had spoken about how I’m not complaining anymore and how it has affected me and my life. A lot of you liked that post and told me you’ll give it a try as well, which is great! If you’ve done it and are wondering what to do next, here it is. 

    After making a habit of not complaining, make a habit of being more grateful. One of the results of not complaining, in any case, is that you automatically feel more gratitude for everything. This happens because you're not seeing your life through the negative lens of complaining. 


    If you increase feeling grateful even more, it makes your life so much more beautiful. It makes you feel this absurd sense of happiness all the time. The same way you make a habit of not complaining, you have to make a habit of feeling grateful. Here's how: 

    • You can maintain a gratitude journal. Every night before you sleep, write down 5 things you're grateful about that day. These things can be minute or massive, it doesn't matter. You can even be grateful about yourself and how you handled a situation that day. Don't overthink it. Just put it down. 
    • You can maintain a gratitude note in your phone and write down what you're grateful for as you go about your day. 
    • Or you can simply count your gratitude list in your head. You can do this in the middle of the day or before you sleep, or both. 


    I do a mix of everything. I have a journal where I write down what I was grateful for that day before I sleep. When I'm too tired to write, I make a mental note of what I feel thankful about, in my head. 

    The entire point is for you to remind yourself what you are grateful for so that you constantly recognize the amazing things in your life. After a while, it becomes a way of thinking. So much that even when you're really irritated or in a shitty mood, your next thought is what you are thankful for. That changes your mood or at the very least reduces your negative thoughts. 


    Remember, you will find it very hard to be grateful if you complain all the time. When you complain you focus on all the bad things in your life. And if you focus on all the bad things, you can’t be grateful for the good things. So make sure you stop or reduce complaining and then start the habit of feeling gratitude. 


    To set you off here's a very small list of what I'm grateful for right now:

    • Amazing friends and colleagues who know me so well that they gifted me this stunning gown from my favourite couturier, Saji's Couture on my birthday.

    • Beautiful places in Bahrain like the one in this shoot and having a blog that makes me discover such places for shoots.

    • Positive feedback on my blog posts.
    • Technology that helps me write from anywhere. I'm writing this on my phone while waiting in a beauty salon.

    • The opportunity to teach fitness classes in different gyms to wonderful participants who give their all in the class.


    Those are just a few things I'm grateful for while writing this post, to give you an idea of what you can put in your list. Once you start writing or listing them in your head, you'll find you have so many!






    Gown: Saji's Couture, Ring: Era, Clutch: from India, Earrings: Parfois, Shoes: New Look.

    So make that gratitude list, however, whenever. Carry a journal around with you, write it in your phone, do it while meditating, go through it in your head. Whatever works for you. Do it until it becomes a habit and it brings you that absurd happiness. 

    Until next time,

    xoxo
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    Shabana Feroze
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    The One Reason You Need to Be Fit

    The One Reason You Need to Be Fit



    We all know the advantages of being fit. Looking good, feeling stronger... There are so many. For the sake of this post, I'm going to break them down into physical, tangible benefits, and intangible ones. 

    The physical benefits include a healthy heart, more stamina, faster metabolism, stronger muscles, denser bones, better digestion, and more. 

    Intangible benefits are being able to wear the clothes you want, eat what you want because you know your metabolism will burn it fast {or you'll burn it in your next exercise session}, a sense of achievement, more energy, better sleep.


    The biggest benefit, of course, is looking good naked. I'm not referring to a stereotypical beauty standard or shape, but whatever YOU think is the level of fitness that makes you feel sexy and attractive. 

    For me, "fit" is a certain fat to muscle ratio, but for you, it could be more fat, lesser muscle. Or it could be being super-ripped. Whatever works for you where you feel healthy and look good to yourself.


    These reasons listed above are the most common ones why people want to be fit. As a fitness instructor and someone who has been fit since a young age, none of these is the number one reason why I work my butt off to try and stay fit all the time. 

    The main reason for me is- peace of mind

    Yes, you read that right. I like to stay fit for peace of mind. 

    Life is so unpredictable. It'll surprise you with all kinds of problems and challenges. It's a huge relief to know that my health and fitness are not a part of the problem. 




    When I'm worried about challenges in my business or relationships or any other area of life, I find myself thinking, "At least I look good", or "At least I'm not worried about my health". Let me clarify here that this is not about vanity. It's about feeling empowered and confident because you've taken control of your biggest asset- your body. 


    When you look good naked {again, this is YOUR standard}, it's astonishing how relaxed and stress-free you become. It takes a huge burden off your shoulders. One that you didn't even know was there. 

    On top of all the little problems life throws at you, you don't want the flab on your belly or those extra pounds to be one of them. Trust me, I've been there and it's very, very annoying. To worry about how your body looks when there are a thousand other challenges that need your attention. 



    So do whatever it takes to reach your fitness goal, and organize your lifestyle to maintain it once you're there. When I say whatever it takes, I'm not condoning shortcuts like extreme dieting/ body disorders/ starving yourself or anything else unhealthy like that. I mean to organize your time and schedule to reach your fitness goal and make it a habit.

    Eat more veggies. Do HIIT. Lift weights. Do yoga. Work standing up. Do push-ups on your office floor. Reduce bread, rice and sugar. Whatever it takes. 



    NB: The journey to your desired weight might be long, but patience and consistency will get you there. I promise. 


    To summarize, if you reach your fitness level and maintain it, it takes so many worries off your mind. And when the going gets tough, you can always console yourself with the fact that, hey, at least I look hot AF.

    Read all my posts on health and fitness by clicking the tab named "Health & Fitness" on the blog header, or click HERE.

    I have written an entire chapter on health and fitness in my book, Loving Yourself In Style. In it, I talk about body image, food, exercise, and my battle with anorexia. The book is available on Amazon, Kobo and iBooks. Click HERE for all the links. If you'd like a signed copy, please get in touch with me on any of my social media platforms shown on the right.  

    P.S: it'll go on summer sale soon! 

    Until next time,

    xoxo
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    Shabana Feroze
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    [name=Shabana Feroze] [img=https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Sg6SV98PZuI/WZVqixmSbyI/AAAAAAAAzS8/-Y24FbHuPfozAHBFDpi9P1XsTRqcHi-0ACLcBGAs/s320/Wider.jpg] [description=Shabana Feroze is the owner of advertising agency The Silver Kick Company, and co-owner of Lace Love, a lace business that she started with her mother. She is a Les Mills fitness instructor, teaching BodyCombat and BodyBalance classes. She is also a published author with her first book Loving Yourself In Style. She enjoys dressing up, chasing her passions, traveling the world, staying fit and encouraging people to do the same. She lives in Bahrain with her family of humans and cats.] (facebook=https://www.facebook.com/TheSilverKickDiaries/?fref=ts) (instagram=https://www.instagram.com/thesilverkickdiaries/) (twitter=https://twitter.com/SilverKick) (bloglovin=https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/silver-kick-diaries-3736366) (pinterest=https://www.pinterest.com/silverkick/)

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