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Hi! I'm Shabana. I live in Bahrain. I'm a businesswoman by day and a fitness instructor by night. I believe that dressing up is the easiest way of loving yourself, and this blog is where I journal my outfits and my life. If you'd like to know more, click on the About Me tab on top. I hope you enjoy my blog!

Guest post: Be yourself, unapologetically.

Today's guest post is by Sahaj Kohli, a psychology student living in Virginia, USA. I came across Sahaj and her amazing blog A Quarter Life Crisis when a post of hers was featured on Paulo Coelho's blog. I got in touch with her to compliment her on her work and we soon became fast friends even though we have the Atlantic Ocean between us. {Ah, the joys of the internet!}
I'm a huge fan of Sahaj's and the topics she writes about always resonate with me. So I was thrilled when she agreed to do a guest post for me. So without further ado, {drumroll please} ladies and gents, I present to you, Sahaj Kohli:

All my life I've been well behaved and accommodating. It's what I was taught growing up. It's appropriate. It’s polite.

It’s also sacrificial, confining and somewhat submissive. I find that I apologize for everything. I apologize for standing up for myself. I even apologize when someone else bumps into me when walking down the street.

It’s my most natural reflex to apologize. On one hand, I’m proud that I never hesitate to admit when I’m wrong and apologize. However, it becomes a problem when I apologize just to lessen a blow, end a fight, avoid confrontation, or break the silence.

Worst of them all is when I apologize and compromise my beliefs, my feelings, my rights and who I am in order to make someone else feel better.

I’m learning now (better late than never), to firmly stand up for myself, say what absolutely can’t go unsaid, give room for other people to own their mistakes, and finally accept parts of me that I should never apologize for.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far-

  • Don’t ever apologize for what you believe in or for standing up for what you believe in.
  • Don’t apologize for who or what you love.
  • Don’t apologize for pursuing your passions, whatever that may mean.
  • Don’t ever apologize for where you are in life and the pace you are moving at- be it faster or   slower than the “norm”.
  • Don’t apologize for your opinions, perspective or needs.

  • Do apologize for being rude, inconsiderate or careless.
  • Do apologize when you’re dishonest, late, or insensitive.
  • Apologize when you make mistakes, even if they are accidental.
  • Apologize for wasting someone else’s time.
  • Apologize for making someone else feel inferior.
  • Apologize for a poor choice of words even if the message was correct.

  • Don’t apologize for doing what’s right for you regardless of how that may make someone else feel but do acknowledge how unfortunate the circumstance is and be sensitive to how it affects someone else.
  • Don’t ever feel bad for how you feel but don’t ever use your feelings as an excuse.
  • Don’t ever be too stubborn to apologize.

 ‘Sorry’ is such a natural word in my vocabulary, I’ve almost forgot what it means and in the process have lost myself.

I have been doing an injustice to myself. By apologizing for everything I’ve never really stayed true to who I am, what I’m not, what I believe in, and what I deserve. And by not staying true to me, I’m doing an injustice to the world.

So remember- be accommodating and willing to adjust, but never compromise yourself and adjust a core part of what makes you you.

Be yourself, unapologetically,

Sahaj Kohli is the founder and author of two blogs- A Quarter Life Crisis Blog and The Love Project. She's a storyteller, poet and lyricist. She fights for social change, believes in truth over everything else and is an active mental and emotional health advocate.
Follow Quarter Life Crisis blog on facebook HERE.
Follow The Love Project on facebook HERE.
Follow Sahaj on twitter HERE. 
Shabana Feroze
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[name=Shabana Feroze] [img=] [description=Shabana Feroze is the owner of advertising agency The Silver Kick Company, and co-owner of Lace Love, a lace business that she started with her mother. She is a Les Mills fitness instructor, teaching BodyCombat and BodyBalance classes. She is also a published author with her first book Loving Yourself In Style. She enjoys dressing up, chasing her passions, traveling the world, staying fit and encouraging people to do the same. She lives in Bahrain with her family of humans and cats.] (facebook= (instagram= (twitter= (bloglovin= (pinterest=

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