10 Types Of Friends You Should Get Rid Of

Illustration by me.

In this post, I wrote about what makes a good friend. And I promised you I'd write about what makes a bad friend. Over the years I've had friends that weren't just bad, they were toxic. Here's a list of the people I now avoid:

1. The Gossiper:
I knew this girl who was nice and friendly to my face, but went and told nasty rumours about me to our mutual friends. Such people get great joy from playing people up against each other by spreading lies among friends. They do this because they think that revealing ‘secrets’ to people will strengthen their relationship with those people. They not only gossip to others about you, but are usually bursting to tell you ‘juicy’ {and usually exaggerated and untrue} gossip about your other friends too. Such friends will ruin your friendship with non-gossiping, normal friends. Recognize them and cut them out of your life.

2. The Crazy-Possessive:
I used to have a coworker who was good friends with me. We used to hang out after work, go shopping together and visit each other’s homes. Then one day a new girl joined work while I was away on holiday. My coworker friend wasted no time in telling her untrue things about me. She did this because she thought the new girl would take me away from her. My coworker was insecure about herself, which led her to act possessively in her friendship with me. Possessiveness never makes for a healthy relationship. It destroys any relationship from within. Don't be with people that are possessive and don't be a possessive friend.  

3. The Utterly Mannerless:
I've had this experience not with one, but two girlfriends. We made plans and agreed to meet at a certain place at a certain time. They never showed. They didn't answer their phones when I called, nor did they ever call me back telling me why they couldn't make it. I was literally stood up and it wasn't even an opposite-sex-romantic-date! What these girls did was not just mannerless, but reeked of arrogance. I consider showing common courtesy and manners as a pre-requisite in any relationship. If your friends don't have basic manners, it's time to say goodbye.

4. The Materialistic:
We all know these people. They want you in their life only because you're handsome/ beautiful/ rich/ have a big pool in your house/ have a high-flying career. Ask yourself- would they still be my friends if you weren't or didn't have any of the above? If the answer is not a big YES!, kick them out of your life.

5. The Out-of-Control Social Butterflies:
These people are so popular that they never have time for you. They're constantly flitting from party to party and from one social circle to another. They can't seem to make time on their social calendar for an exclusive meeting with you. You know what? You no longer have time for them.

6. The Confidence Leechers:
Like bees to honey, under-confident people are attracted to those with healthy self-esteem and confidence. That's ok, as long as they don't try to leech confidence from you. Confidence-leechers are those that have a compulsive need to bring others down to their level. These friends can't stand to see you happy and successful. They're always raining on your parade. Life has enough problems with you having to put up with negative, miserable friends like these. Get rid of them and find some happy, confident people who will be happy to see you grow.

7. The Me-Me-Me:
Also known as The Narcissists. When you're with them, all they do is talk about themselves and their life, expecting you to worship and look up to them. They thrive on others fawning over and flattering them all the time. They're also usually condescending, patronizing and demeaning to you. {Think Regina George from Mean Girls}. They'll do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself. If you want your self-esteem intact, walk away.

8. The Fake:
I met this girl who I thought was just like me. She liked all the same things as I did. I was ecstatic to meet someone with so many of the same interests as mine. But very soon I realized it was all an act. Like her hair and nails, she was fake. She had only pretended to like all those things to get closer to me. There's nothing more repulsive than a person pretending to be someone they're not just so you’ll like them.

9. The Vanishers:
Hard times really show you the true colours of the people around you. I've had friends who abandoned me when I was going through tough times only to conveniently find me when things were going smoothly. The easiest way to recognize such people is to see what they do when you're going through a rough patch. Do they stay, or do they vanish? If they vanish, it's now your job to make sure it's for good.

10. The Manipulator:
This friend wants you to live your life on his terms. He/she gets upset when you don’t do what they told you to. They think it’s their duty to be involved in every aspect of your life and tell you how to handle every situation. They don’t feel powerful unless they’re directing your life. These kinds of friends are also usually the same as point 7. You don’t need someone who constantly thinks you’re incapable of making your own decisions.  

Having had all these encounters and experiences, I used to wonder maybe there's something wrong with me. But now that I have amazing friends I realized the problem wasn't me, it was them. People are insecure and their insecurities make them behave in ways that are detrimental to your relationship with them. Don't blame yourself. All you need to remember is that you need to be a good friend, and the right people will eventually come into your life.

Shabana Feroze


  1. I just found your blog and am hooked! Keep up the amazing work! I really like this article because i have found myself letting bad friends stay in my life because i was too nice and was worried about hurting their feelings. But i have seen in my life that being nice is not always good, especially when it concerns people that are destroying you from the inside. Those people need to GO. I am given only ONE life and and need to make choices accordingly!


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