The Results of My Year of Not Complaining

One of my resolutions for 2019 was to stop complaining. In the last few months of 2018, I read several books on self-help and spirituality that said one needs to stop complaining, as complaining blocks all the good energy and everything good that the Universe wants to send your way.

I knew about the “no complaining” concept from back when I was in college and used to read a lot of self-help books. {I was away from home and depressed and severely homesick. Self-help books saved my life.}  Almost all of the really good self-help and motivational books concurred on stopping complaining to change your life from a negative to a positive one.

I had read all of Dale Carnegie's books and one of his quotes always stuck- “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain- and most fools do”. Which is why I already wasn’t big on complaining and didn’t do it often. I had learned that complaining is futile, and it’s better to take action instead of complaining. And if its something you can’t change, there’s no point in complaining. But that’s just it. As I read those books last year I realized that I was complaining about the things I couldn’t change. So I decided that I’ll reduce complaining drastically until I stop doing it altogether. And when I say complaining, I mean all types of complaining. Complaining, criticizing, ranting endlessly about things I don’t like, whining, retelling a sob story for pity, and even complaining to myself in my head so I could revel in my misery.

Once I made my mind up, it was surprisingly easy to stop. Whenever I complained about irritating clients or an annoying situation that happened to me, I regretted it after. Then I started catching myself before I complained. Soon enough, I realized that I wasn’t complaining about the usual things - clients, my parents, how tired I am, how little sleep I got, the traffic, and so on. It’s astounding that when you stop complaining you realize how much you complain, and especially about small, insignificant things.

Finally, it came to a point where I noticed that my complaining reduced drastically. It’s only been half a year since I started doing this and I can already see so many positive changes in myself and my life because of this. I’m not saying I’ve stopped complaining altogether. I still do rant about a few things, but I’m conscious that I’m doing it, and either I try to cut the conversation short or change the subject or keep in mind that I must not complain about this the next time.

Here are a few things that happened as a result of me reducing complaining this year:

  • The things that bothered me- the ones I used to complain about- don’t bother me anymore. Those petty, insignificant things remain insignificant to me now.
  • I feel happier than before. Because I’m not focusing on the negative occurrences and talking about them, I automatically focus on the happy things and feel more of the positive emotions.
  • I have more energy now. It’s amazing how complaining saps your energy but you don’t even realize it.
  • I notice people who complain a lot and instinctively, I want to stay away from them.

  • I feel healthier. I don’t know what the co-relation between complaining and feeling healthier is, but I guess that because I’m not in the negative mindset that one gets in because of complaining and ranting, I’m healthier and don’t catch a cold or get headaches.
  • I realized that people around me complain less because I complain less. They instinctively realize I won’t indulge them when they want to rant and whine.
  • I’m more productive. Since I’m not spending time complaining, I’m spending it being useful and getting more done.
  • I have become more solution-oriented than problem-oriented. Complaining makes you focus on the problem again and again. When you don’t complain, you automatically think of how to solve the problem.

  • My overthinking has reduced to almost nothing. I used to be the Queen Of Overthinking. But now because I’m not complaining to others about my problems and thinking about what they said, the same thoughts don’t go round and round in my head. I have found that my thinking has become more linear and I arrive at a solution very easily, or that I decide to not let the problem affect me at all.
  • I’m so much more relaxed. Because the small things that used to bother me before don’t anymore, I have very little anxiety and stress, and I feel much more relaxed all the time.

  • I am so much more grateful for everything I have now. I have always been grateful for my wonderful life, but lately, because I’m not focusing on the bad things in my life, it has brought a sharp focus on everything incredible in my life and I find myself feeling more grateful than ever before. I also notice all the little good things and occurrences and feel immensely grateful for those.
  • Lastly, I find that good things are coming my way. Happy coincidences, good fortune, pleasant surprises are all happening constantly. I meet the most amazing and positive people, and I have amazing experiences. I’m sure that this is not only because I stopped complaining, but I’m also sure that that has contributed significantly to the Universe becoming more generous towards me. Because when you think about it, why would the Universe be generous and good to you when all you do is complain about how miserable your life is?

These are all of the things that happened in less than 6 months of reducing complaining. I still have a way to go in stopping complaining altogether, but I know I’ll get there soon because the results of this have been so incredibly positive and freeing.

Dress: Saji's Couture, Earrings, Watch: Parfois, Ring, Anklet: MGD Lifestyle Jewellery, Bag, Sunglasses: from India, Shoes: New Look.

If you think that this is something that you want to do, or that you want to experience the positivity and happiness that I am experiencing now because of this, then give it a try. Don’t complain for at least 3 months. It will be difficult at first if you love complaining, but it becomes easier and then it becomes a habit. However, you start to see changes in yourself and in your life almost immediately. Also, there’s no harm in not complaining. So why not give it a try? Let me know if you do! Leave me a comment below!
Until next time,

Shabana Feroze

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