
A good support system is so important. Being surrounded by the right people makes life so much easier. If you have a few friends you can rely on when things get rough or share happy news and who increase your happiness by getting even more excited than you, you’ve made it.
And maybe you have a great set of friends, you all get along, and you’re there for each other. But from time-to-time, you do stupid things that jeopardize your friendship. I know I have. I’m not referring to the basic stuff that makes a friendship what it is- being there for each other, supporting each other, being there for them when they’re down.

There are a few subtle things that we don’t really think of, but they can really ruin a friendship.
There are other subtle nuances that are so important when it comes to keeping your relationship with your closest friends strong. There’s nothing as heartbreaking as a broken friendship, not even a broken relationship. Which is why I want to share these tips from my experience.

Here are a few things you can do to be a great friend:
True friends don’t get jealous of their friends’ achievements. If your best friend gets engaged, gets a raise or is going on an amazing holiday, don’t be envious. Be happy for them. If you’re the type of friend that gets envious, your friend will know. After a point, they’ll stop sharing their good news with you and that’s not a good sign for a good friendship. If you can’t stop feeling envious, ask yourself how you can become more secure in yourself. Know that you can get every happiness for yourself, too.

Don’t gossip about your friends to other friends. By gossiping, I mean talking about your friends in a bad way. Being judgmental about what a friend is going through and then picking that apart with other friends is not a nice thing to do. If you think what a friend is doing is not right, keep it to yourself. Your friends’ lives should not be content for negative conversation.

If you’re mad at them, let them be the first to know. Don’t tell another friend that you’re mad at a friend. First, clear it out with the friend you’re angry with. Otherwise, you’re ruining the reputation of one friend with the other, and then once everything is okay between you and your friend, you have to then tell the other friend that everything is now okay between you and that friend. It’s too much work!

Don’t share your friends’ secrets. This should be an obvious one but sometimes we get tempted to tell a friend something another friend has told us strictly in confidence. It’s not even about your friends clearly specifying that what they are telling you is confidential. You need to develop the discretion as to what can be shared and what can’t be shared. Ask yourself- if the news were about you, would you want a friend saying it to others?

Know when to listen and offer support and know when to help. Sometimes we just want a friend to hear us out. Just that helps us feel better. We don’t necessarily want advice. So when a friend is telling you about a problem, you can ask them something like- is this a problem where you need my advice or where you just need me to listen?
Don’t be an askhole. An askhole is a person who asks you for your suggestion then disregards it completely. If you’re not going to follow their suggestion, don’t ask. It makes your friend feel disrespected and unimportant, not to mention making you look completely foolish. If you really have a problem that needs solving, ask one or two friends that you know can help you with that particular problem. Don’t be that friend who asks every single friend about a problem then goes and does the opposite of what everyone said.
Don’t dump on your friends. One of my best friends, Amy, had told me this and I loved it. She said that when she’s had a bad day she likes to go and watch a movie alone in the cinema because it helps her forget her problems. She said she doesn’t call a friend and ‘dump’ her bad day on them and bring them down. And I thought that that was so wise. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t tell your friends about sad news or when you’re having a tough time. I’m saying don’t do it too often and for small things. Be mature and independent enough to handle your situations yourself and only when you really need support or help, talk to your friend. Depending completely on your friend when any little thing goes wrong is unhealthy for you as a person and for your friendship. No matter how kind your friends are, they’ll eventually get tired of you not being able to self-soothe.


Be honest, but not brutal. Don’t be that friend who sugarcoats everything and never tells their friend the truth about their job or their relationship or about food stuck in their teeth. Telling the truth may make you lose friends, but they’re not the type of friends you want anyway. P.S- tell the truth nicely. No need to be brutal about it. If you have a friend who is constantly being brutally honest and throwing what you do wrong in your face, reconsider the friendship. Friends are nice to each other.

Remember that the best way of finding good friends is by being one. Following these rules has definitely worked for me and I’m blessed with amazing friends. Being honest, perceptive and compassionate in your friendships will make them stronger. By following the tips above, you’ll start to become a better person and a better friend.

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