16 things I wish I knew when I was twenty

I turned 28 this year. In 2 years I'll leave my 20s behind. I'm looking forward to it. Life has been beautiful and I can't wait for what's to come. But if I could go back and talk to my 20 year-old self, I would tell her a lot of things. Like to not go on a date just because someone asked you out. To get a better sense of style. To not be so sensitive. So I made a list of things I'd advise 20 year-old me, and any 20 year old today.
  1. Stop being so hard on yourself. I know you're confused and trying to get somewhere, but self-criticism makes you go backward, not forward. 
  2. Stop worrying so much. Worriers don't make good warriors and trust me, you have a lot of battles to be strong for. 
  3. You don't have to like someone just because they like you.
  4. You don't have anything to prove to anyone else. It doesn't matter if you didn't do an MBA or don't have a bank job like all your friends. It matters that you're happy, whatever you do.
  5. Enjoy your college years. Party, hang out with friends, or don't party, be nerdy, but do whatever you want to. Trust me, those days won't return.
  6. Travel as much as you can. It opens your mind.
  7. Make friends from different nationalities, cultures and mindsets. Have different groups of friends and spend time with all.
  8. Have at least one friend who is over 45. Their wisdom and guidance will help you.
  9. Read, read, read, read. It's the best {and maybe the only} cure for ignorance. Read all kinds of books, from fairy tales to murder mysteries to philosophy to sappy romances to self-help to classics. Once you start working and take on more responsibilities your time for reading will reduce. You'll be grateful to your younger self for reading when you had the time. 
  10. You will change. Your thoughts, ideas and perceptions will evolve. You will have epiphanies and paradigm shifts as you grow older. So don't hold on too tightly to your thoughts and beliefs. 
  11. Learn to meditate. Life's going to get crazy-hectic and meditation helps.
  12. It gets better. Even if you don't see it now, every single bit of your hard work and struggle will lead to something brilliant in the near future.
  13. It's ok to be lost. It's ok to not be ok. Eventually you'll find yourself. Eventually you'll be more than ok.
  14. Steer clear of negative people. You don't need anyone who brings you down or belittles you or your aspirations.
  15. Don't wear too much make-up otherwise when you're in your late 20s you'll look like you're in your late 40s. {Thankfully I wore very less make-up due to my strict mom and now people ask me if I'm in college.}
  16. Learn to be assertive. You're not a doormat. Don't let anyone walk all over you. 
And lastly, follow your heart. Do what makes you happy, not what makes your family or peers happy. And most of all, love yourself. A lot. 
Shabana Feroze


  1. I've been reading your blog on and off. You're a pretty girl. Please tell your late 20 year old self to stop posting scary pictures of yourself.

    So tell me, coming from a conservative background, how did you manage to evade marriage?

  2. Firstly, thank you. Secondly, hey, it's nice to be scary sometimes, and lastly, to answer your question, by being strong and independent.

  3. She evaded marriage by sleeping with every guy in the island. Also why lie about your age we all know you are 40 and going through a midlife crisis. Also it must be hard for you to stay away from negative people because how are you supposed to stay clear of yourself.

  4. I really love the way you see things...and i feel i should apply what you said above in my life (being in early 20s :))..you really are a positive person..wish you were my friend and we have coffee in the weekends!!

  5. You seem like one of the most kindest people ever. I LOVE your style and fashion sense. It is very simple, minimal, sophisticated and classy. I have learnt a lot from you! As a girl who's in high school, I will definitely keep these 16 things in mind.

  6. stop posting comments on yourself by being anonymous....you are a joke.


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