Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Heels vs. Flats?

Recently I read an article that Karl Lagerfeld's runway models wore ballerina flats at the latest showing in Paris. After which he declared flats as 'chic', implying heels are out, flats are in.  Following this the sales of flats has also gone up.

On reading this I couldn't help but smirk at the naivety of the writer. And the senility of Karl Lagefeld. Heels can never, never, never be replaced by ugly flats. Never. Heels make a girl feel uber-sexy. They boost our confidence. They elongate our legs, and give the illusion of a longer, leaner body. In the contest of heels vs. flats, heels will always be the winner. You can't have as many styles of flats as heels. Heels can be pumps, strappy, round-toed, pointy-toed, with t-straps, courts, mary-janes, peep-toes, on boots, studded, sequinned, snakeskin and endless more. You can't have so many designs in flats. Even if there are, they look plain ridiculous and manly. 

I love wearing high heels. By high I mean not less than 4 inches. I simply don't believe in 3 inch and kitten heels. In my head they don't exist. Wearing my stilettos gives me an air of superiority. You definitely feel better when you're  towering over and looking down at your arrogant male colleagues. I'm able to do this because I'm 5 6", and in my 5 in heels I'm 5 11", making me taller than all the men at work. Now you may not be blessed with my height (I know, I'm very modest), but I'm sure heels are even more of a heaven-send for vertically-challenged women.

I hate flat shoes. The only type of the flat I like is the gladiator sandal. Whenever I have to wear flats, I feel like a duck-billed platypus and try to wear a big gypsy skirt to cover my flat-shoed ugly flippers. Even though I love heels so much that I may get married to a pair, I do admit that they're definitely not practical walking shoes. I laugh at women wearing 4 in heels and walking around in malls. I do it sometimes, but only when I have no choice but to do so. Heels are great for wearing when you know you won't be walking around much. That's why I love wearing heels to work. The longest walk I'll take is to the Ladies. I would definitely never wear heels to go hiking or when I know there's physical labour involved. Many women do. Look at that masculine-jawed over-spoilt excuse-for-a-celebrity we know as Paris Hilton who wore heels for her street community service. Now that's plain stupid. That's what ugly sneakers and disgusting flats are for. There's no point going home and cursing your heels. Your heels are to be loved and cherished, not cursed for deforming your feet.
 
Flats being in is probably just a fad that's becoming popular right now. I'm sure all the women snapping up the flats are those that have bunions and other feet deformities from wearing heels for too long and walking around in them. We women need to wisen up about when and where we need to wear our stilettos instead of rushing to buy flats like traitors.