"You've Put On Weight"

A friend of mine is getting married. She has a wonderful figure. However, she’s being told by close friends and family that she has ‘put on weight’. She has been told this so many times that she’s started to feel insecure and panicky. She’s getting obsessed about how to lose the weight.

I don’t know why women do this to women. All the people who told my friend she’s put on weight, yep, they’re women. My friend doesn’t feel fat. Or as if she’s put on weight. She certainly doesn’t look out of shape or ugly. But she feels ugly because other women have started scrutinizing her body because she’ll be wearing a wedding dress soon.

My friend is a highly intelligent, talented and kind person. She has better things to obsess about than a few pounds of flab she might have put on because she’s happy and in love. It makes my blood boil when women start to make other women feel insecure about their bodies. We already have impossible beauty standards to reach up to. We don’t need to be pulled down by each other.

I’m here to tell you that if you’re one of these women who tells other women ‘you’ve put on weight’, STOP IT. Stop telling other women how their bodies need to look. All of us come in different shapes and sizes. There is no one shape or size that’s beautiful. Also, it’s really not nice to judge another woman {or person’s} body. Focus on your own shape and body, and what you want to look like, instead of telling others what they need to be doing. 

If you’re one of those women who feel insecure about your body, STOP IT. Your body is your home. It enables you to move, run, jump and enjoy life. Why hate the home you’re in? I agree you want to see a few changes in your body. We all do. That’s okay. You can love your body and go about making the changes you want to make instead of hating it and trying to change it. 

When you love your body, what you’re trying to do to make changes will be more effective. So your fitness regime, healthy routines and change in diet will all yield results faster. Because now you’re doing them because you love your body so much that you want to treat it right. Not because you hate the way you look and you want to punish yourself. You’ll also be happier!

As a fitness instructor, I see this all the time with the ladies who come to my classes. A lot of them are highly insecure about their shape and they ask me what they can be doing more to become thinner/ lose the flab on their belly/ get thinner arms. Some even consider lipo and gastric surgery. 

And it makes me so mad because these women are beautiful, inside and out. They’re lovely, kind and generous human beings. I don’t see a single flaw in their bodies. Yes, some have bigger hips and some have big arms and some are taller, shorter, bigger, skinnier than others. SO WHAT. It doesn’t make them ugly. It makes them who they are. 

One of the women who come to my classes is curvy and stunning. What makes her even more stunning is that she’s completely secure in her body. She often says that she’s not coming to my classes to lose weight, but because working out makes her feel good. I love that attitude! Because she’s so secure in the way her shape is, she’s always got her hair and makeup done well and she wears clothes that flatter her figure. She never moans about being fat or hating her body or how much she has to lose. That’s so attractive and affirming. 

Surround yourself with women who don’t care about these things. I have a fitness instructor friend who I moan to when I put on weight. This gorgeous human being NEVER makes me feel bad about it. She always tells me that I look incredible. She agrees that I’ve put on some weight, but that I look stronger because of it. I love that! Because of that, I stop obsessing about my weight and I relax. 

Lastly, if you’re getting married, don’t go crazy trying to lose weight. If you put on weight before the wedding, you know what you have to do, right? Alter your dress to fit you better. That’s all.

Dress: Saji's Couture, Watch: Olivia Burton, Sunglasses: Aldo, Cuff & Bag: Parfois, Heels: Matalan, Photos: Ancita Sherel

If you liked this post, I talk about body positivity, health and fitness, and loving yourself in my book, Loving Yourself In Style. Available on Kindle, Kobo, Apple Books, and more. Get your copy today!

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Until next time

Stay happy!
Shabana Feroze

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