How to Feel Calm, Confident and in Control


It's no big secret that many people believe society places a heavy expectation on women to be ALL things to ALL people. From advertising campaigns that feature women with 'perfect' bodies through to magazines that highlight celebrities' perceived flaws. Everywhere you look, there are images encouraging women to compare themselves to others and live up to an airbrushed ideal. Being exposed to these images regularly means that they become accepted as the norm. This serves to add to the expectation to be perfect in every way.


The fact is, no one's perfect, and why should they be? Differences are to be celebrated and not viewed as an opportunity to compare and criticize. You have to accept your differences. You have to let go of the idea of conforming to other people's notions of "perfect". If you want to feel calmer, more confident, and feel in charge of your life, these tips should help you feel empowered to be all those things.



Choose Your Friends



Unfortunately, it's not just the endless advertising content and media pressure that make us women feel bad about themselves. Instead, criticism can also come from friends and family. Uh, hello, aunt with the loaded comments pointing out that you've gained a few pounds. This is unacceptable, and not something that you should put up with. Friends that criticize and insist that they're only telling you for your own good are not always good people to be around. 


Spending time with people that make you feel good, respect you, and value you as you are is vital for your self-esteem. There's already enough pressure out there. You don't want more of it piled on by friends.



Be in the Moment



It's so easy to become overwhelmed by modern life. Social media pressure, demanding bosses, and other commitments. It can mean that you're never able to switch off and fully relax. If you feel like you're stuck on a hamster wheel and unable to stop it spinning, then it's time to take a step back. Being 'on' all the time can seriously drain your energy. You may feel permanently exhausted and constantly stressed out. 


Finding a method that enables you to chill out and just be is essential to prevent you from exhausting yourself. Mindfulness is a popular and effective way to learn how to be in the moment. And to stop yourself from getting caught up in your thoughts. 

 

If you often find yourself overthinking and questioning yourself, you may find mindfulness particularly helpful. If you're interested in learning about mindfulness, you'll find that there are many resources you can use, including mindfulness websites and apps.

 


 

Feel Empowered by Your Choices



Making decisions and choosing to live life your way is the best way to feel more confident. This level of empowerment gives your self-esteem a huge boost. Decide how you want to live your life. Then take decisive action to make this a reality. This will ensure that you're living in a way that's true to yourself. 

 

Maybe you've decided that you want to run your own business. If so, you could set this idea in motion by taking the first small steps towards making it a reality. And see your dream come true. Perhaps you've decided that you don't want to have kids right now, or at all. In this situation, you may want to research which contraceptive option is best for you - a copper IUD vs mirena. Whatever your situation, and however you want to live your life, taking the first step will empower you to continue to work towards creating a life that you love.

 

Get Fit on Your Terms



Being fit is not about altering how you look or trying to achieve a lower number on the scale. Being physically fit goes beyond being slim or having toned abs. It's about taking care of yourself. It's about making sure you feel strong and ready for anything that life throws at you. 


Rather than aiming to emulate the body of your favorite celebrity, why not focus instead on what you want to achieve by getting fit? Challenging yourself to meet your fitness goals and then working towards them. This is an excellent way to channel your energy into something positive and to build your self-esteem in the process. When you let go of using exercise as merely a means to get a perfect body, you take off a lot of pressure off of yourself.


When it comes to exercising, the most important thing is to choose an activity that you enjoy. Why force yourself to do exercise that doesn't suit you or that you really hate? It makes it difficult to stay motivated and to keep working towards your fitness goals. 

 

There are so many different kinds of workouts available today. Find a few you love doing. Whether you want to learn how to salsa or prefer group fitness classes, you're sure to find a way to exercise that you love.


Take Care of Yourself



Staying calm, being confident, and in control of your life doesn't mean that you need to detach yourself from your feelings and focus solely on self-improvement. It's the opposite. Accepting yourself for who you are and taking steps to transform your life into a life that you love. It's about empowerment rather than improvement. This means understanding what you want from life and then having the confidence to pursue it calmly. Not for the purpose of meeting the expectations of others, but doing it for yourself. And recognizing that you deserve to achieve whatever you want to in life. 


By recognizing your own needs, listening to your instincts, and being kind to yourself, you'll break free from expectations and start living on your own terms.

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Shabana Feroze
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